Share on Facebook
Share on Twitter
Share on LinkedIn
Share by Email
Print
Discussion
Shoulda, woulda, coulda. Those destructive words can be its own pandemic. Second guessing. Doubting your competence. Questioning your practice. Our internal voice may say that if only we’d been a better nurse this would not have happened. Maybe it is our own version of a God complex. And of course, shame is mixed in there.
One common communication challenge is in how we communicate with ourselves. Do we talk to ourselves the way we would to our best friend, to someone we respect? The adage “treat others as you would like to be treated” can be turned around to “treat yourself as you treat others.” In our work with oncology patients, the emotional stress is often very high. How exactly do we take care of ourselves? There are all kinds of guidelines: get enough sleep, eat well, exercise regularly, take up a hobby. Maybe “talk to yourself with kindness and patience” should be added to the list. COVID-19 has thrust upon nurses tremendous stress and challenge. You do not have to be caring for infected patients for your practice to be impacted. Nurses have been stretched and fitted into new ways. Add to that the stress of our world being so altered, and we are in an environment ripe for burnout. The pace of change has been relentless. Yet, we can cultivate resilience within ourselves
There are many models of resilience training. One model has 3 easy to remember components. First, do a mental inventory of what you have. For example, I have good support at home. I have coworkers I like and trust. Second, consider your natural traits. I am smart. I am a hard worker. I am compassionate. Third, consider what you can do. I can reach out for support. I can go easier on myself.
How do we talk to ourselves? What is our own narrative? In the fast moving world of patient care we may not take the time to pause and do a personal assessment, there is always another task to be done. But the complex interactions can add up quickly. I have a personal rule of thumb: If I hear myself telling a story more than three times — for instance, relating a story about a difficult clinical situation — it is a trigger that there is something embedded in my story that I need to attend to. It may be as simple as I wish I had handled things differently. And here, the communication challenge is with myself.
In this difficult and confusing time be sure to take of yourself. Reach out for help. Debrief with coworkers. We are the ones who need to safeguard our practice, the only ones who can. And having worked so hard to become a nurse, it is well worth protecting.
Ann Brady is a symptom management care coordinator at a cancer center in Pasadena, California.
